Hola a todos y todas!! I am here in El Salvador, safe and sound (that
is, if any of you were getting a little worried not having heard from me very
often… sorry Mom and Dad!!) I have finally made my way to an internet café where,
our friend Milton here is absolutely lovely and only charges 75¢ for an hour,
so I can take a few minutes to let you all in on what I’ve been up to these
past few days!
Trena, one of the coordinators of the Casa program and an
absolutely amazing woman, shared with us on our first day of orientation something
one of her spiritual directors used to tell her years ago--“You will not pass
this way again.” I am in love with this idea.
I will never feel exactly the same way as I do now in the same context, which
is why it is so important to embrace the “now-ness” of it all. And I am trying very hard to do just that. I knew I was called to be here from the
moment I first read about the Casa program during my freshman year at
Gonzaga. Every part of this program
seemed a part of me too, and I felt like I belonged there. And although I definitely miss home already,
every minute I spend here I feel more and more at home, and that this is definitely
where I need to be. I hope that I can be
okay with getting my feet dirty, taking risks, and diving right into all the opportunities
offered to me here (cliché, but all true!), but I have faith that I will find
the courage to do this, and I can’t wait to get started!
Part of orientation (which lasts about ten days, because the
UCA doesn’t even start classes until February—how cool is that?) involved a
short tour of part of campus, including a beautiful church and La sala de las
fichas—a memorial museum dedicated to the priests and lay people who were often
very brutally murdered around the time of the Salvadoran civil war throughout
the 80s and early 90s. At the beginning
of the tour I was kicking myself for not bringing my camera along, but by the
end I was almost glad I forgot it, as I realized that there is no way I could have
taken pictures and effectively captured the moment or the emotions behind
seeing the real thing, and trying to do so would just be cheating you all from
the true experience. We had just watched
a movie on the civil war that had mentioned a few of these individuals and
featured some rather obscene and disturbing footage of bodies after they were
found, so I expected to see some pretty graphic images. But I must admit that I was not at all prepared
to see the exact tattered and bloody bathrobes, t-shirts, and various other
articles of clothing or belongings of these innocent, faith-filled men and
women –that I had just seen them wearing in the film as they lay on the ground—
completely on display in a room full of glass cases. Or be in the same room in which an innocent
woman and her daughter were brutally murdered as the woman tried to protect her
child with her own body—all because military policy instructed that the
assassins leave no witnesses. I know I cannot
fully explain how I felt in that moment, but it was almost as if that part of
history was suddenly all the more real to me than anything I have ever actually
lived before. It was at the same time
the most horrifying, humbling, and haunting experience that I know will never
be able to forget—not that I ever want to.
Things that disturbing and beautiful cannot, and should not, be
forgotten.
I am so sorry to end this post on such a disturbing note,
but I just wanted to share with you some of the thoughts I am having as I begin
my experience down here. I promise more
uplifting posts in the near future! But
I do encourage you to look into the details of the Salvadoran civil war if you
ever get the chance. It is so important
for us to be educated on the history of our nation and its involvement in the
world around us, because horrors such as those that occurred to so many
innocent people should never happen again, especially if we have any say in it. My friend Britta especially recommends the
film Voces inocentes—super heavy, but
she says it is absolutely beautiful and very well done (and it has English
subtitles!)
Thanks so much for reading, love you all. xoxo Annarose
